Developmental Arrests occurs when stuck in any and all Victimhood Identities - A very serious implication/impairment for overall Mental Health and Well-being

The Unbelieving woman spoke, “The journalist I was trying to call is writing a book about how important ranching families are in the West.  He wants to know both the upside and the dark side of our family. The size on these families is easy to tell.  He also was on the dark side.  I said I would talk if I could remain anonymous.  I was thrilled to have the opportunity to destroy my father’s image.  To grind my father’s reputation into dust.  What pleasure it would bring to know that I would have power over one who abused his power over us.

Did I tell you my husband asked for a divorce?

I'm meeting with the journalists next week.  Telling the truth will be healing, but it frightens me, so somehow, there must be another way.

The pastor replied, “There is another way, but only one way and that is forgiveness, of your Father.  She replied, “I refuse to forgive him for what he's done.  I’m bound and gagged by the rage I feel.  I want to be able to love again, to give and receive love and not sabotage it.  How can I ever forgive him for what he did to his children?

The pastor applied. I do understand my father had a relationship with another woman and 60 years later, I learned that I had a brother.  I will spare you the details but I was able to reap the fruits of this new relationship by forgiving my father.  Forgiving him was the path to loving my brother.  He went on, you are clearly depressed and I imagine that all your relationships have suffered, including those in your profession and now your marriage ending.  He went on further and said to her, “This isn’t about your Father “said the pastor, “this is about you.”

Confiding the dark side of the journalist won’t alleviate the hurt.  It will extend it, for you and countless others.  It's important to remember it will also dishonour the memory of your mother.

So let's drop the notion of humiliating your father and concentrate on yourself.

The Pastor then went on.  “In nearly five decades of working with human souls, I’ve seen how we can define ourselves by how we were wounded by others.   In every way, unforgiveness continues to make you the victim.

Surrender is the key that unlocks the hard heart and gives love the liberty to enter.  Where Love enters the possibilities for the forgiveness of others go viral.

She replied I will not surrender to my father or to God or you the Pastor, for that matter. 

Blasé Pascal, a brilliant mathematician, inventor, a philosopher once said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person. It cannot be filled by any created or material thing.  It can only be filled by God made known through Jesus Christ.

At the age of 40, I was a priest who believed in the intellect but knew nothing of the intimacy with God that comes with surrender.

 I was certainly lost, holding onto my pain, trying to fill the God-shaped vacuum.   Then one day, standing in the backyard of the rectory, I was moved to pray a simple prayer from the heart.  I got down on my knees and prayed out loud to God, “I surrendered everything to you. From that moment on, everything changed.

Forgiveness has exactly the power to do what is intended.  It has the power to liberate ourselves.    To liberate us from the gridlock of our EGOS.  My simple prayer was, “Thank you God for sending your son to die for my sins.  I surrender completely and want to receive Christ as my Savior.  I am a child and I surrender my entire life to you.  There is always betrayal in our lives and then comes a crucifixion and after that, finally redemption.